(Or: How to Drive Your Best People Away?)
Inspired by the manual for the “ideal hotel guest,” here is the official manual for the “ideal managers” in the world of remote work and freelancers.
Congratulations! You have just hired a freelancer for 25 hours a week. But why stick to those hours? Here are a few handy tips to guarantee the working relationship blows up within a few months:
1. Mind Reading is Mandatory
Freelancers and remote workers possess psychic abilities. Therefore, sending them a signed contract or a clear briefing is completely unnecessary. After all, they instinctively smell what the goal is. Is there still no signed paperwork after four months? Don’t worry, it breaks up the boredom of administration so nicely.
2. The Managers “WhatsApp Surprise”
Why schedule an official meeting when you can also send a termination notice via a WhatsApp message on Monday morning? It saves stamps and keeps the atmosphere exciting. After all, an official, signed termination letter is so 1990s.
3. Freelancer? Then We Also Want Your Sick Note!
Although the law states that freelancers are independent and manage their own time, it is much better for control to demand a doctor’s note when they have the flu. Should the freelancer refuse because this makes zero legal sense? Immediately accuse them of breach of contract. (Tip: definitely do not read the legislation on this topic).
4. The Managers “3-Minute Panic Payment”
If the freelancer then refuses to cooperate with your bad deals and starts threatening to involve official authorities, panic immediately. Make an instant wire transfer within three minutes in exchange for a signature promising they will keep their mouth shut. This acts as a kind of “instant yoga” for your own stress levels.
The Workplace Face Yoga Check:
Just like with Face Yoga, one golden rule applies to the workplace: It should never cause pain or stress. Are you suffering from “acne” in the form of toxic emails, or “wounds” caused by breach of contract? Stop the exercise immediately. Close the laptop, breathe in and out deeply, and wait until the situation is fully healed before speaking with the manager again.
DE ULTIME GIDS VOOR MANAGERS
Featured Image by Stephanie Ghesquier from Pixabay
